I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
