That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We are all done wearing pants today
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
