I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
