So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
