singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
