Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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