i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
There was a lot of him and a little penis
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
