I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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