My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
