so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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