i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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