We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
