that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
