i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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