People in love make me want to vomit
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
