I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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