i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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