I skipped work to stalk him.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
