i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
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