Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Randomize
