You're completely useless in the revolution.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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