I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Randomize
