An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
