bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
