just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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