Will you blow on my dice?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
