I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
