I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize