meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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