looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
