if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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