shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Damn victory sex feels great
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
