ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
