dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You can't just leave with hair like that
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
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