fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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