I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm sobbing to NWA
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
