Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Let's paint friendship bongs
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
