I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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