You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
