I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
