the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
