he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
