She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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