I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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