What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize