No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
