Can i not drive my cunt home
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
