giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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