I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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