I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
