i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
